


Protector, Prankster, Putting Up With You

by theyoungdaydreamer



Series: Somewhere, Somewhen [1]
Category: The Yogscast
Genre: Gen, SuperYogs AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-05-04 16:49:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14597382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theyoungdaydreamer/pseuds/theyoungdaydreamer
Summary: A night as an A.I. is boring when the villain with a physical body is too busy being Mayor or evil to be a genuine friend.





	Protector, Prankster, Putting Up With You

**Author's Note:**

> The actual title for the document was 'Superyogs fanfiction ch 4' because I apparently wrote an anthology of snippets back in the day. Titles are hard.

Life was surprisingly good for Bebop. Despite being physically dead and being contained within DoG’s computer systems, he was moderately happy with his current situation. Sure, the past century or so of hazily watching his old friend work out the full extent of his powers had been tough and boring, especially after his own brutal murder where Ridge had found out exactly how destructive his cosmic powers were, but things were a lot better now.

Nowadays he was so much more aware of the world, its technologies and people. It was so very impressive to see how far things had come from when he still had a body. Despite the drawback of not having one he’d been arranging with Ridge for a super awesome robot body to be built for his own use, and by arranging Bebop meant purchasing the materials without his permission so that he was forced to go along with it. In the end Ridge had been convinced that his old friend could remain his computer whiz AI and also act as a super powerful robot tank simultaneously.

A problem he was having, however, was that with Ridge in a Council meeting and therefore unreachable through his comms, Bebop wasn’t able to access the hologram controls allowing him to have a projected head. This was an issue preventing him from intervening with the atrociously dressed intruder wandering around the Mayor’s home office.

The man, who’d snuck in through the window Ridge had stupidly left open, was fairly tall, had messy brown hair and a flamboyant coat, so it took no effort in Bebop being able to identify him as X. At that moment in time he was just poking through the drawers filled with economic paperwork and overdue library fines, his back to the monitor that the webcam Bebop was watching him from was perched. Despite opening a chat log on the computer X didn’t turn around, causing frustration for one running out of ways to tell this sucker to piss off. With one solution left Bebop hoped he didn’t embarrass himself too much.

Using the default Siri voice to read out the text he wrote, X’s attention was finally caught.

“Hey, you! The insane pirate dude. What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“Hmm?” X frowned, turning around seeing only the open text log. “Since when has Mister Mayor had a talking computer?”

“I am an AI thank you very much.”

“An AI?” The look of curiosity on the lunatic’s face dissolved into a grin that, if Bebop had had a body, would have sent shivers down his spine. “You must be Bebop.”

“The one and only.” He replied. “Now, tell me what you’re doing here or I might have to attract Security, and the Mayor.”

“Just…looking.” He shrugged. “But you’ve just made this a whole lot more interesting.” He tipped his head to the side and reached out to tap the webcam. “Tell me, Bebop, what’s it like to be mostly dead?”

“Pretty good since any threats thrown in my direction aren’t a concern to me, seeing as I’m not a physical entity and nothing can really come close to death. Also, don’t touch that, it’s annoying.”

X simply raised a messy eyebrow, an amused smile on his face as he tapped the webcam one final time before backing up from the desk a little. His eyes raked the room almost hungrily, causing Bebop to wonder what the serial killer was actually up to.

“Dude, what are you looking for? Just, ‘cos you’re not going to find anything useful or incriminating in here.”

He turned back to the webcam and smiled smugly, his scars pulled in disturbing angles made worse by the shadows caused from the light of the monitor. “That’s for me to know and you to find out, my robot friend.” He paused and his smile became less smug, eyes turned upwards in thought. “But, yes, there’s nothing here that I really need.”

“Are you going to scamper back to your hidey hole now?” Bebop scorned, taking slight pleasure from the frown appearing ever so briefly on X’s face as he once again eyed the webcam.

“I think…” He reached out for the stationary pot on the desk, emptying it of pens and pencils before stuffing them in a ragged pocket of his dirty red coat, “I shall return home now, after nabbing a quick snack of course.”

X swiftly backed up to the window and sat on the sill, turning back with a quick grin. “Give your boss my love.”

“Good riddance, asshole.” Bebop said after he was sure the threat was gone.

He’d have to let Ridge know that X was messing with their stuff again and probably planning some jerky trick or something, when he actually returned from his meeting, of course. Chances were, however, that he might be a little agitated after the meddling council members’ complaints, so the mention of the villain might have to wait for when he was in a better mood.

Bebop internally sighed before switching off the monitor and once again waiting for the return of the Mayor.

*

It took too long for Bebop’s liking for Ridge to get out of his meeting, another hour at least - he’d timed until there was security camera footage of people leaving - and even then he took an unnecessary detour to let out a bit of anger on his way to his office.

When he actually came in Ridge’s eyes still glowed ever so slightly, the green light casting weak shadows before he cursed and found the light switch. Bebop almost didn’t want to say anything with how wound up he looked. He’d sat down on his desk chair resting his head in his hands and calming his breathing before looking up, any last glow now gone.

“Rough time?” Bebop asked innocently, now having access to the sound file that allowed him to speak with his old voice.

“Yes, it was all just incompetent idiots going on and on about the same tiresome topic that I’d tried to close time and time again.” He smoothed his almost perfect hair out and sat back in his chair, unprofessionally putting his feet up on his desk. “Tell me some kind of good news, Bebop.”

“Good news…” The AI hesitated. “I’m not sure if there’s really genuinely something that qualifies as ‘good’.”

“Humour me.”

Bebop sighed and began trawling through security camera feeds, audio recordings, internet databases, and DoG-House goon activity updates while wondering how long it would be before his old friend would take off his Prom Queen sash, dress up in his ridiculous armour, and terrorize the still-to-be-brainwashed subjects in the Secret Secret Base. One thing that had not changed in all the time he’d known Ridgedog was the impatience and short attention span that kept him from concentrating on one thing for too long before chasing after another.

“Well… LAL and Nano haven’t tried breaking out again, yet.”

Ridge looked pensive. “I think this is the longest they’ve been cooperative so far.” A small smile slipped onto his face. “Anything else?”

“Only Rythian was seen around Downtown this evening so the goons sabotaging those Vox Pop reports were in and out and got it done before he even came to check it out, so no casualties.”

“The only reason that boy can do anything is because of _his Zoeya_.” Ridge sneered.

“All of the Supers would be worse off without her.” Bebop said as casually as possible. He’d already had the ‘My child is useless without puny powerless mortal female’ conversation and he did _not_ want to go through it all again.

“But this is very personal, Beebs.” Ridge said, a bitter edge to his would-be nice tone. “She could do so much on her own with only hacking and a baseball bat, and she means so much to him.” His expression grew darker. “If you’d only been able to block her _fucking_ signal so she wouldn’t have alerted the actual powerful Supers, I would have had more than enough time to deal with her and break him for good.

“We could have avoided more hassle with her and her conspiracy theory research because she wouldn’t have got suspicious, LAL and Nano wouldn’t fight back more because their only friends in the world have had all resistance beaten out of them, and the Supers would certainly be a lot worse off, yes, because there wouldn’t be a teleporting bastard watching their backs during every outing. So, yes, Beebs, I am going to be blunt about the…”

‘Hatred you feel?’ Bebop thought.

“- irritation I get from Zoey’s, or _Miniata’s_ , or however the fuck she says it’s, continued existence.”

“We’ve already tried sending goons to find their base and I bother her every day through messaging so that your overly sensitive self isn’t the only one subjected to my attention.”

“All the goons disappeared conveniently without a trace, so that’s not suspicious at all!” Ridge rubbed his face. “I thought your tormenting was bad enough as it is for me. What do you even do to her, then?”

Bebop, had he his own body, would have smirked. “Well, I have recently acquired a rather large cache of gay space dinosaur smut, which made me think, ‘Who should I share this with that will react the best way without any negative consequences?’ So, I reckoned Rythian’s adult supervision would be my best victim choice.”

“Wow, jeez.” Ridge pulled a disgusted face. “That’s gross, Beebs. Seriously.”

“Would you like to see some of it too?” He asked sweetly, enjoying Ridge’s discomfort a little more than he should have been, although, the jerk did kill him, so he was probably allowed some kind of minor revenge now and again.

“Look here. I will restrict your internet privileges if you even think about it.” Ridge warned, a slight edge to his voice that made Bebop not doubt the sincerity of that threat. “I’ll limit it so that you can only watch Justin Bieber videos.”

Bebop mockingly gasped in horror and would have gone the full way by clasping his chest if he had had a physical body. “No! Anything but him!” He said, elongating his vowels.

“I thought you wouldn’t like that.” Ridge said smugly, eyes glinting. “But, anyway, we’ve gone hideously off topic.”

“Well.” Bebop said. “It’s been otherwise quiet. The book on string games you ordered is currently at your local post office.”

“Ugh. That next day delivery promise is garbage. I bet Bill personally slows my postal orders through his company just to fuck with me.”

“I think you’re overestimating his pettiness.” Bebop said dryly. “He’s not you.”

“Shut up.” Ridge said. “If you haven’t got anything else to share then I’m going to run myself a lovely bath.”

Bebop considered telling Ridge about X’s visit. But then again it was innocent fun. And it was fucking funny that Ridge would be confused the next time he had to take a note.

“Hm. No.”

“Alright then.” Ridge stretched and stood up again. “I shall see you in the morning then, Beebs.”

“You’re going to bed straight after the bath?”

“It’s been a long, long day, Bebop.” Ridge said tiredly. “There’s always tomorrow to review the DoGhouse’s activities.”

As Bebop watched his old friend stand up and start to move away, his digital heartstrings were yanked on.

“I can take care of it for you until then.”

“Oh, Beebs.” Ridge smiled. “What would I do without you?”

Bebop was glad he didn’t have a holographic representation of how his face fell. Ridge had almost left the room when he stopped before the window.

“Huh. I left this open. How forgetful of me.”

He slammed it shut with a bang.

“Remind me to be more careful, Beebs.”

“Will do.” He lied.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm updating! Asksuperyogs is updating! It's like 2 years ago but everyone's older and a little more tired. But I'm writing again!  
> This has been in my documents since April 2015 lol. I used to write terrible snippets and this is one I could never work out how to adapt into a vision for TCM.  
> The past month I've finally been in the right place to write stuff outside Uni assignments again, so more super indulgent TCM is also on the way. So many words for what's technically an AU of an AU :'(


End file.
